This is for Tink
"Like a hole in the heart."
"I've lived a long time....and you know what? It doesn't get any easier. You'd think it would get easier. But it doesn't."
"After a while you get to know your holes,....you can put your finger in them, feel the inside, know how deep, what's still tender, what's scarred over."
"This might sound strange, but it's true,...."
........"It's as if they become your friends. They're yours, and nobody can take them away from you. Your little heart holes."
"Do you think this could be my last hole, please?" .......... "It feels like enough."
"Probably not,"........."But try to think of it differently. Like a badge."
"That's right. By the time they call your number, you want a heart full of holes,"
........"What else you gonna have to show for your life?"
From Hole in the Heart by Christopher Marquis
Saturday, June 30, 2007
This is for Tink
Friday, June 29, 2007
I have a guilty pleasure. Or I should say, a guilty like for something. It's this song. And yes, I paid money to have it downloaded to my Ipod.
I've tried several times to incorporate this into a regular post but it won't work so more Friday Randomness below:
This morning on the news they were talking about the car bomb in London.
I just have ONE question. Why is it a "Suspected" car bomb according to CNN but it is simply just a car bomb that was diffused on BBC?
Do we not believe them? Are we saying they faked it to get some attention?
This isn't the first time either. I've noticed on more than one occasion they use terms that make it seem like the incident may not be really all it's cracked up to be. The subway bombings in London had the same exact title "Suspected bombing" - what the hell else could it be??? They know for sure it wasn't a crash or a gas explosion. That pretty much leaves bombing.
So what if the BBC did the same thing and said "Suspected" terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers.
Damn, knowing Commander Coo-Coo Bananas he's nuke the crap out of the BBC for suggesting it was "suspected"
Or am I just blowing this all out of proportion? Maybe my level of respect for the media and for our government has crashed so incredibly impossibly low that I challenge everything that comes out of their mouths. But honestly, do they really think that Britain is just making this shit up for attention? WTF???
By the way, since I got a PG rating on my blog I'm working on getting a more dignified rating. I'm working toward R - thus all the swearing in the above rant.
In other more Newt like news:
One of the girls at work asked me to go to lunch with her. We picked a place a few buildings over in the skyway. Unfortunately when we got there we found out that every business in that building had been closed. Odd, but ok. So we decided to get pizza from this little place in our food court. I'd never had it before. OH MY GOD! This is some of the best pizza I have had outside of New York. This is the first place that has "that flavor" that only New York pizza seems to have. Of course the guys all look like they just got off the subway so to speak and they yell back and forth in fluent Italian. Odds are it's where they are from. And I am very very thankful they are here. It is truly the best damn pizza I have had in ages. I'm in love. I fully admit it. (got another swear word in there)
Hopefully tonight I can talk the hubster into going to play some disc golf. I'm a little addicted after just the first try.
Oh, and the hubster doesn't have to work Friday's in the summer. But bless his heart he got up with me this morning and made me a fresh batch of muffins. How sweet is he???? I love my hubster. Then, since the muffins came out of the oven just when I should have left for the bus he drove me in so I got a bonus 1/2 hour to sit and drink coffee, cuddle with Lily and talk to the hubby. Oh, and as you noticed above, got to watch the news.
Well, until Monday, have a wonderful weekend.
Hugs to all!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Last night the hubster and I decided to
try out suck at the sport of disc golf. I had never heard of it till I moved to Minnesota. But basically it is golf with a frisbee rather than a ball and club. The above photo has been taken from a disc golf site, we aren't any where near this impressive.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Topics of Newtness: Absolut Newt
Thursday, June 21, 2007
AKA: Overactive Imagination Syndrome
Often times life for me is very similar to the NetFlix commercials. You know the ones with all the movie characters in period clothing running around the cities and into your living room.
Thanks to growing up in the non-technological age and having a total love for reading I have developed an over active imagination. Very over active. Bordering on “is this normal?” over active.
I will admit that many of the images I see originated in movies or television. So when I say non-technological age I am not talking about before electricity. I’m simply talking about before reality tv, U Tube, IM, and My Space took over people’s minds.
I can play out scenarios, see mythical creatures, knights on horseback, creatures sitting on signs practically every where I look. They just pop into my head. I don’t even consciously invite them.
For instance I can drive under a freeway sign and see a little goblin sitting on the top. I passed 10 other signs but for some reason I stuck a little creature on the top of this one.
Or I can look out at a beautiful field and imagine a horse and rider galloping across, white puffy poet shirt billowing in the wind.
I can also play out horrific scenarios in my little head. I can imagine my car careening off the bridge and into the Mississippi, or Godzilla suddenly coming up out of the river and starting to demolish portions of downtown.
I was sitting at a café last week with a friend and as some stranger walked by us I quickly rattled off an entire history for that person, why they were downtown and what they were going to do. She laughed at me and said that she wished she had my imagination. She said she could notice them, how they looked, what they were wearing, but she could never come up with an entire story for them so quickly.
How do you explain to someone that this is what you do ALL the time without sounding like you need to be in a straight jacket?
Or perhaps many of you are sizing me up for one right now…………..
Topics of Newtness: Absolut Newt
That’s what I had to tell myself this morning. In fact I had to chant it for a while. A long while. 25 minutes to be exact.
I got sick in the middle of the night. 2:23 to be exact. And stayed awake for the remainder of the night, finally falling into a deep sleep about 5:20. The alarm went off at 5:30. I fell back into a deep sleep till 5:43 – when I suddenly bolted awake realizing the hubster should have already gotten out of bed but was still next to me.
So, since we got up late, which meant that I only got one cup of coffee this morning, I stopped at the gas station on the way to the bus and got myself some coffee. I didn’t get too far into the cup before the bus came. So I got on, stumbled to an empty seat and sat down, or by the time I actually planted my tush it was more of a plop down since the bus lurched and turned the corner at the exact same moment. Thus spilling coffee everywhere. All over my arm, my bag, the seat, the side of the bus. It was fabulous. It was running down my arm into my shirt. Just lovely. Luckily I had napkins with me. So I cleaned everything up, and while doing so I realized that the bus is giving off this high pitched, ear bleeding whine. The kind of noise that jumps around in your head and kicks off a most excellent headache. I also at the same time became aware of the mad cow gum chewer behind me. I honestly didn’t know it was possible to chew gum that loudly. His mouth was WIDE open. So much so that the air was permeated with a mint smell.
“Go to your happy place, go to your happy place, go to your happy place…………”
I tried to loose myself in my book but I was having a difficult time with the cacophony of annoying noises around me.
I KNOW that today will get better. It can’t honestly get worse. Well, actually it can, but as I have been anticipating a particular bit of bad news I’m ok with it being piled on to my day.
The things I have to look forward to: Giving Nettie her birthday surprises and taking her out to lunch. Followed by ice cream and people watching.
Broasted chicken and ribs with the folks tonight.
Friday OFF – yes, that’s right – OFF – Vacation – NO WORK – Sleeping in!
We might go see POC 3 since we haven’t yet – for shame! Also the farmer’s market, and a picnic at one of the lakes are possibilities. Basically the weekend is wide open.
Speaking of stuff…………………………..
Last night I took my mom to my sister-in-law’s for a knitting lesson. She wanted Mom to show her how to read patterns. So while we did that the hubster and my dad watched a movie and drank scotch. I think it was the first time ever they “bonded” just the two of them. They watched “Goodnight and Good Luck” and they both seemed to have really enjoyed themselves. At least I hope they did……………
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
So here it is again, cause I like it so much:
It's shiny cause it's covered in Tattoo Goo.
I have to take pic's of the hubsters back still and have him take one of the fairy on my back. I had her darkened a wee bit. He used a soft gray when he originally did it but the hubster thought it looked too faded and she didn't stand out enough so we had her darkened.
Yesterday while we were sitting in the living room reading both Caleb and Lily jumped up on the couch and went over to my dad for pets. All of us held our breath and slowly dad put his hand out and got to pet Caleb. I know it seems silly to get so excited but when he gets brave like that it really makes me feel good. I think the cuddling we are "forcing" on him is helping.
Here are some gratuitous cuteness pictures for you.
And finally a lil' meme:
Use ONE WORD for each answer.
Your Partner: Grumpy
Your Hair: Boring
Your Mother: Generous
Your Father: Hero
Your Favorite Item: I-pod
Your Dream Last Night: Weird
Your Favorite Drink: Coffee
Your Dream Car: Mini
Your Dream Home: Lakeside
The Room You Are In: Silent
Your Fear: Helplessness
Where You Want To Be In Ten Years: Loved
Who You Hung Out With Last Night: Parents
You’re Not: Ambitious
One of Your Wish List Items: Elliptical
The Last Thing You Did: Phone
You Are Wearing: Sandals
Your Favorite Weather: Warm
Your Favorite Book: Fiction
Last Thing You Ate: Powdered
Your Life: Content
Your Mood: Disappointed
Your Best Friend: Hubster
What Are You Thinking About Right Now: Hungry
Your Car: Subaru
What Are You Doing At The Moment: Hello!
Relationship Status: Blissful
What Is On Your TV: Darkness
What Is The Weather Like: Perfect
When Is The Last Time You Laughed: Morning
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NETTIE
go wish her one!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
I'm back. I have a lot of blog reading to catch up on but I promise!
We had a marvelous long weekend. The trip to Wisconsin was wonderful. On the way there we came across a roll-over on 94 Westbound. (we were going east thank goodness) There was about a 3/4 mile back-up of cars and semi's. The poor people had been there since about 6:00 in the morning. We drove by about 8:00. They were outside of their cars, lawn chairs out if they had them. Getting to know their nearby "neighbors". Then for about 10 miles it was eerie emptiness. The highway patrol had detoured traffic off 94 so the West bound highway was completely empty. Once we got to the detour point the traffic was backed up for miles. It was incredible!
Doc's was a lot of fun. Dad didn't get his tattoo :-( I say again :-( but we couldn't pressure him, it's too personal and too permanent. I however have a giant tattoo on my leg. And the hubster has a new dragon, a moon, and clouds on his back. I owe ya'll pictures of his back. My bad.
Then Saturday we went to Alexis Bailey vineyards for our little party. It was PERFECT! Good food, good wine, great family and friends. We couldn't have asked for a more perfect afternoon. The harp player was excellent.
Sunday was Father's Day. We took my dad and the hubster's dad to a chinese buffet. (My dad's favorite thing in the world). It was a lot of fun.
Monday I took them to a local place for breakfast and then we went back to Barnes and Noble. Dad loved that they had a big used book section so he wanted to browse it again. Then I took them to a marvelous little used bookstore called Sixth Chamber on Grand Avenue. It's about the cleanest and best smelling used bookstore I have EVER been in.
I finished The Historian. It was a terrific book. And yesterday afternoon I started "the Darwin Conspiracy" by John Darnton. I am more than half way through already. It's wonderful.
Oh, sorry, I bet you are waiting for pictures: This is actually a show so the pictures change as you watch it. Or you can click somewhere on the box and it will take you to the site.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Age of body is not equal to age of heart
I still feel like a little kid
That’s probably why I have trouble dealing with adult type responsibility
And why some days I wish I could just curl up with my Teddy Bear
No that is not a sexy euphemism for the hubster. I really do mean a stuffed bear.
I refer to my business appropriate clothing as “grown-up” clothes
I’m a picky eater and I don’t care if it appears childish to people
I don’t wanna eat brussel sprouts and you can’t make me
I didn’t spell that right but word can’t seem to fix it for me
Spray painting is going on in the elevator banks
Every surface, floors, walls, ceilings, are covered with white fabric and plastic
It’s like a white padded room
I’m thinking of curling up in a corner and enjoying a moment of insanity
I want to sleep more
Yesterday my body got on the bus
But my brain had already left
I tried to make the screen read my bus pass
I look bewilderingly at the driver and told him the machine was broken
He smiled and said that for once, today, I was the broken one
And then he pointed to where I should have been placing my bus pass
I’m still trying to figure how I screwed that one up.
And I don’t think my brain has returned quite yet
Ever get that feeling that your brain is sleeping even though your eyes are open
And you can’t feel a thought running around in your ol’ grey noodle?
Ever feel like you should have just stayed in bed
And let the world go around without you for once?
And now for moments of cuteness:
This is it folks, I’m outta here! Newt is going tattooing tomorrow, wine drinking on Saturday, Pancake and Chinese eating on Sunday (that would be Chinese Food, not people) and then I’m not sure what on Monday! Hugs all around! See ya’ll Tuesday when I bring you pictures of rural Northern Wisconsin. – Yes, yes, and tattoos!
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Last night to celebrate we went to Mama Maria's in Hudson. And as always the meal was sumptuous and the service was exceptional. We started with an appetizer that was a special little pizza. It was a seasoned flat bread covered in tomatos, herbs, mozzarella, and a reduced balsamic. Light and very very tasty.
We all had salads and then for a main course my dad had stuffed pork tenderloins and a cannelloni. Mom and Hubster had a chicken and pasta dish that was served in a white wine cream sauce, and I had their cannelloni with half red and half white sauce.
Dessert for mom and dad was a slice of mocha cheesecake. Hubster and I shared a bowl of peach cobbler. Both were to die for.
Dad and Hubster also had martini's. I had a white Russian coffee.
In other news:
***Lily is SO comfortable with my parents now that she is diving into their laps for love. She loves to lay across laps and squirmy worm around while she gets scratches. Both the hubster and I were so happy to hear that she was doing that. We'll take puppy progress any time we can get it.
***There is a wonderful store in downtown St. Paul called Candyland. They sell candy by the pound, they make chocolates, carmels, and popcorn. It's a wonderful place to visit. Dangerous too. I think everyone that walks through their doors turns 10 instantly. I picked out something for everyone in the family. It's one of those places that you hope never ever goes away.
***I've been reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. This book is so far absolutely wonderful, engaging and fascinating. I"m half way through and loving every page.
***Work relationships are interesting. You can work with someone day in and day out and never really connect. For whatever reason you don't find a commonality that takes it from a work association to a friendship. But then something comes along that for whatever reason seems to make that final "connection" and you suddenly find yourself becoming friends. And not only becoming friends but truly becoming a "Person" to the other. I'm not sure how to better describe it. But suddenly you find yourself knowing them not just as a face and a name but as a person with a life, with a story, with a personality that goes beyond the day to day. I've recently found a friendship with someone at work and I'm amazed at how differently I see this person. I always thought she was very sweet and from the day she started I liked her. But now that we have gotten to know each other a little better I see a whole new person. I was talking about her during dinner last night and I realized that she is someone that I like very much. And I am somewhat fascinated by this evolution of friendship. And then I realized that the friends that I have now that I am very close to had the exact same evolution. We worked together, we were faces and names to each other and then some event or some conversation pushed that acquaintance to a new level. And then at some point they became friends and not co-workers. They stop being "My Co-worker" and they become "My Friend".
***Nope, that's it, that's all the mumblings. Can't think of anything else.
Happy Wednesday Hump Day!
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
My dad said that when I met the right man, the one he wanted his daughter to marry he would serve him a roasted chicken. That would be his sign to me that everything was going to be ok. And so any time I mentioned a guy dad would immediately ask if he was roasted chicken material.
Poppy in my yard
Tinker being crazy on the stairs
Monday, June 11, 2007
The house was ready. I felt ok about them coming at 2:15. Dad called at 2:30 to say they had arrived.
Lily looks freak'n adorable. I will download and post pictures of her tomorrow. She looks like a totally different dog. Actually she almost looks like a tiny puppy of some non-descript breed. Who would have known she has such long legs. She's also much skinnier than you'd think. It's amazing what a whole lotta fur hides or adds.
I also made great progress on my "big idea" I spent part of Saturday hunting down more pieces for it. Since the groomer needed 3 hours in order to get Lily completely done I had the time on my hands. I also hit a point where I couldn't really do any more work until the Hubster did his share (removing his clothing from the guest room) so I spent Saturday night happily assembling parts of my big idea. I'm actually sort of proud of myself that not only did I get hit upside the head with this great idea but my enthusiasm for it is still going strong. Much like a few of you mentioned my great ideas usually come on like a storm and then fizzle out quite rapidly never completed. This one though, so far, still interested :-)
Sunday with the parents was fun. Dad and I sat outside for a while while the dogs played. He brought Othello, a wired haired dachshund and he fit right in. The only dog that hadn't met him was Caleb and for some reason Caleb LOVES the little guy. In fact he's become a little protective of him. It's a little funny actually. Caleb is freak'd out by my parents presence and has yet to adjust to them being here. But he took to Othello instantly and whenever my parents would pick up Othello or pet him, Caleb would start barking at them. Considering both Caleb and Lily really never had human contact their whole life but did always have dogs around they must just have an incredibly strong sense of pack. So Othello just naturally joined the pack. And as a member of the pack he has to be protected from those evil tall things with only two legs. His behavior makes sense and matches the history we know he has. It's just fascinating to watch it in action.
We watched "Saved" last night. My parents hadn't seen it. And they loved it. Mike, if you are reading this, Dad wants to make sure you have seen it. It's a pretty funny and also endearing look at being a Born Again Christian. And what it really means to be a good Christian.
Lastly, the pink flamingo joke between my dad and I escalated to new heights. I dressed up the flamingos in the yard in flowers and sunglasses just to celebrate Dad's arrival. And mom and dad presented me with a Hawaiian shirt covered in pink flamingos. And mom cross-stitched a book mark with a flamingo on it. Oh, and they also gave me a little flamingo they had found at an art show. I served Dad his dinner on a pink flamingo tray.
Pictures tomorrow. Of dressed up flamingos and "naked" puppies.
Hugs all around
Friday, June 08, 2007
The good news:
-I cleaned up the big ugly weeds in the gardens. Well, except for the giant dandelion but I need to find our tool to pull that sucker out as it is in the middle of my ground cover.
-Kitchen is still pretty clean
-Dining room as well
-The hubster is off today and has a honey do list.
Also realized that they don't arrive till almost 3 on Sunday which is like getting a WHOLE extra day to get ready.
I'm really looking forward to taking Lily in tomorrow morning. I think she will benefit greatly from getting shaved down. I just hope she doesn't bite the groomer. I plan to have a frank and honest discussion with the groomer so she knows what could potentially happen with her. The groomer is awesome and I assume this won't be her first traumatized dog. I will be sure to take before and after pictures. :-)
And while Lily is getting groomed I get to do my favorite thing.................wander around Barnes and Noble. Ahhhh, I'm giddy just thinking about it.
So Dad was telling me he doesn't know if he wants his tattoo. He thinks he's too old and at his age it's just silly. But I'll keep working on him. Ultimately it has to be his decision though and I will respect whatever he decides to do. He did say that if he gets it he will have it put either at the top of his shoulder or the top of his arm. I will get the daughter portion at the bottom of my Phoenix tattoo which is going on my ankle.
I think this weekend I am going to try to talk the hubster into going to see POTC. Take a break from furious house cleaning and go have some fun. I think it has been out long enough that we can get our pick of seats and not have 10 zillion other people in the theater with us. I'm not a huge fan of theatre crowds.
Yesterday they told us that nature was going to unleash hell and fury on the Twin Cities. They had tornado warnings, severe storm warnings, etc. etc. etc. I even heard that storm chasers were all heading up our way because these storms were supposed to be so huge and incredibly violent.
Uh, well, blue skys and wind. That was all we had. OK, I'll be totally honest, we had one dark cloud pass over the house and it rained for all of 4 seconds. But no hell nor no fury reigned down upon us. Or even rained down upon us for that matter.
It always seems to happen that way. Prepare for the wrath of god and we get sunny and 70. Tell us we might see a drizzle or two and it's the apocalypse.
So, at your job, if you were THIS wrong would you still have it in the morning or would you be taking your box of personal stuff home? I want weather man job security. Dang...............
Topics of Newtness: Random Ramblings
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Wow, that made me panic just typing it. Holy crap. ***bites nails***
Dishwasher was run, emptied and re-loaded - kitchen clean again
Dining room floor has less doggie tumble weeds after Caleb went crashing into dining room to get toy, slid on belly thus "vacuuming" up several balls of hair
Sadly, the dishwasher thing was my only accomplishment last night. I chose to wander aimlessly through Target instead (one of my favorite and most relaxing hobbies), screw around with the dogs, and read my most excellent book.
Oh, another good thing from last night: I think I mentioned earlier that we have a party planned and the musical entertainment backed out due to her commitment to be a camp councilor this summer. Bless her heart though she is going to see if one of her friends could play for us instead. So our party might yet have a harp player.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
The Bird cage is cleaned and moved
Lil Max the lovebird is now hanging out with us in our bedroom
The initial vacuum job has been done in the guest room
The guestroom dresser and table have been dusted
The dining room floor has only a few doggie tumble weeds blowing around
The kitchen is mostly clean but we need to run the dishwasher
The lawn has been mowed
Stinky Lily has a grooming appointment for Saturday morning
Sophie has her appointment on Monday (she'll get a bath though before they arrive)
Dog kennel is ready for little Othello's arrival
Aside from being a busy beaver last night trying to make headway on the house I don't have a whole lot to report.
Though I do have to ask you............
When you get an idea in your head and you know it's a great one. I mean a really really really great idea do you totally obsess over it and feel a need to have this idea in the works like yesterday? Cause sometimes I get ideas I like so much I loose sleep because I am so excited.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Fridge and Freezer cleaned out
Upstairs bookcase dusted off and organized
Kitchen is still clean
Dining room floor is still clean
Hubster bought more space bags for bedding we need to store
Noticed that you actually could get to exercise equipment without too much problem
Invitations made up and addressed for party we are throwing for father’s day/anniversary
I won’t talk about what has yet to be done. It’s too daunting. I’ll just list the accomplishments.
I know that my folks are not coming to see the house. They figured out a long time ago that I am no June Cleaver. But I really do need to clean up enough so they at least have a place to sleep.
On to other topics.
So, I was wondering; Why do painters wear white?
Nettie’s theory is that it is like having a blank canvas. And all the painting they do helps to make that canvas colorful and bright.
What do you think?
I have just finished Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey. What a wonderful story. It’s a must read if you like a little adventure, a little erotica, and a little intrigue all rolled into one package. Thanks Tink for the fabulous read.
I think I told you a while back that the highlight of the trip will be on Friday the 15th when we go on a road trip to rural Wisconsin. Hopefully Dad and I will return with new tattoos. I can’t make any promises, Dad might still back out, but he has committed to at least going out there to think about doing it. He definitely became more excited about the idea after we found the design he will get:
The symbol is Chinese for father and daughter. If he does it he will get the father part (left character) and I will get the daughter part (right character). I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am.
We also have a picnic at a local winery planned for the 16th. We were going to have musical entertainment but our harpist backed out due to her being a counselor at a scout camp. Sigh…………..So I guess I will have to load up my Ipod with Harp music and just hook it to the speakers and play that for the afternoon. It will still be fun.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Countdown has started. Mom and Dad arrive on Sunday the 10th. I can’t wait.
I’ve known the exact date and time since, oh, February. So why am I looking at a disaster of a home and only 6 days to fix the situation? I am QUEEN of the procrastinators.
Here is the good, the bad, and the downright ugly:
Kitchen is clean
Dining room floor is clean
Unsorted mail piles are significantly reduced and hidden
New shower liners and curtain is hung
Blankets and couch cover are washed and ready
As are blankets to cover chairs in living room
Living Room is a disaster
Stairs are not vacuumed
Basement is not cleaned up enough for easy access to gym equipment
Refrigerator has not been cleaned out
Upstairs hall needs to be vacuumed
Second floor bookcase needs to be dusted (trust me this can’t be overlooked)
Dog kennel needs to be put in guest room
Linen drawers need to be temporarily emptied so guest have place to put clothes
Need to find a place to put linens
Bird cage needs to be cleaned out
Bird needs to be moved to different room
The downright Ugly:
Guest room is covered in hubsters clothing
You can’t even see the bed they are supposed to sleep in
Once found, guest bedroom floor needs to be vacuumed
Bathrooms need to be cleaned and sanitized
I have 6 days……………….
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Sorry to do this to ya'll but I have to show you my latest find. I was giddy as a girl can get: