Friday, June 30, 2006

What if..........

Today I have company at my house. My co-workers daughter is with me for the day. She is a very sweet, very quiet teenager. And she could be my daughter. (not in the literal sense) It's weird for me to think about this. And deep down, I feel a little regret. What would my life be like today if I had children? But I know myself and I know that what I like is the idea of children. I am way way way too selfish to be a good parent. Now, that's not to say that I wouldn't take A anytime she wanted to come hang out here. She's a great kid and I would be proud as punch if she actually had been my baby girl. If she wants to we are going to go see a matinee. And I'll take her out for some lunch. If nothing else, I can live happily vicariously through my friends.

On a completely different note tonight I go with my German guests to the Twins game. It's against Milwaukee so it should be quite fun. I've never been to one before. And we are riding the light rail to get there. I haven't been on that before either. It's going to be an adventure.

As for the 4th weekend. No big plans. My main goal is to enjoy the weather and read a lot.


Thursday, June 29, 2006

House Cleaning at Newt's Place

The dream:
A house that is pet hair free for more than 5 minutes

The reality:
2 dogs and 4 cats. Need I say more.

The dream:
The the hubster could manage to keep a surface free of clutter for 5 minutes

The reality:
I move surface clutter that has been growing dust for weeks. He notices said objects are gone in under 10 seconds. And throws a fit that they are critical documents that he needs.
Surface clutter is back. (though it is now dust free)

The dream:
That I could prepare one meal in which pet hair is not an ingredient.

The reality:
We can’t have company over for dinner who are not pet owners.

The dream:
That I can get from one end of the room with the dust mop and not turn around and see pet hair at the other end already

The reality:
Max goes diving into the toy box for his mummy leaving a trail of dog hair dancing in the air.

The dream:
The a cat won’t vomit his/her entire meal for just one day so the house can be presentable for company

The reality:
Already used three paper towels and 5 squirts of pine sol this morning.

The dream:
That the floor I just washed will look clean and smell fresh at least till about 9 tonight

The reality:
Is that coffee spots on my floor?

The dream:
That the couch cover will look clean and tucked in till about 9 tonight

The reality:
Tufts of dog hair and one side pulled out before I walked out the door this morning.

The dream:
That the dogs will poop in an inconspicuous spot just for today so we can actually walk out on the lawn and maybe have dinner on the garden table.

The reality:
Awww man, is that dog shit right by the walkway in front of the back door?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Absolut Newt - randomness for the day

Random thoughts rattling around my head:

*There was a write up on a book called Stewart, A life Backwards. I want to read it. It sounds like one of those stories that might change you a little bit.

*We were at the kitty shelter last night. We have some of the cutest kitties there. I always wonder why it take them so long to find a home. The hubster was kneeling down to visit one of the kitties. The little guy put his front paws on hubby's leg and just enjoyed getting his pets. And then tried to climb up to lay down on his knee. The kitty was just so content and happy to get love.

*I forget until summer how much I love cherries - then when they have them at the store I get giddy with happiness - I guess this is one way to surprise a simpleton (that would be me)

*Summer Solstice is my least favorite day of the year. From here on out the days get shorter. Sigh....................when you live in the great north it means snow is almost here...............

*Alright, I exaggerate a little sometimes..................

*I wish there was more time in the day to read - but then my life could end up like the dude in the twilight zone and that would suck

*The most honest statement I could ever make: I'm afraid to have kids because my child might be mentally handicapped. The odds are millions to one, but I don't know if I could handle rolling those dice. That sounds horrible and selfish, but it's about as honest as I can ever be. That doesn't mean I wouldn't love my child more than life itself no matter what happened, it is just a fear that is too great for me to overcome.

*I want ice cream.

*Starbucks came out with a seasonal cookie. Right now they have lightly frosted fruit shaped sugar cookies. The frosting is just lightly citrus. And they are very tasty. But then, sugar cookies if made just right are my favorite cookie.

*Hmmm, apparently I'm hungry...................

*I watched a CNN interview with Johnny Depp. I still like him. Sometimes you see people "live" and they bug the snot out of you. Not him.

*I also watched a clip of an interview with Bruce Springsteen. He's never been comfortable in front of a camera interview wise. And he sure as hell wasn't during this interview. But he zinged news reporters including the one doing the interviewing. "Present company included" DAMN.I just love that man. Rock stars shouldn't be political. Give me a break. Bono was up for a Pulitzer. I just have to laugh at that whole thing. It's those right winged whack jobs that don't want the rockers to be political. Cause they have one hell of a bigger audience than any politician. The link to the interview is in Bruce's name. The time stamp is about 1 minute 50 seconds if you want to hear the zing.

*Sometimes I feel completely helpless when it comes to my friends or anyone for that matter. There are no magic bandaids for life and the stuff that happens. Why can't there be magic bandaids?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Change of Scenary

So, tell me what you think about this look.

Update for that look: I realized that the new style doesn't allow comments and I really don't like the symbols for the mouse. It's just too odd and I don't know anything about HTML. So, I encorporated the image as best I could and created a whole new page.

I'm also messing around in wordpress but I don't think I like it nearly as much. And at least here at work it is slower than molasses.

Perhaps I should leave well enough alone kids. (Obviously I didn't do that since the page is now totally different.)

It's now time to go for lunch. The Popover and salad await.......

Monday, June 26, 2006

Daisies, punks, shoes (of course), pirates, and more pirates.

I went out into my front yard this morning and seemingly over night my daisies exploded. They are blooming all over the yard and they look just beautiful. I would kill for a digital camera right now so I could show you.

I live in a sleepy little small town suburb of St. Paul. We have festivals, parades, and parties pretty regularly. It’s nice to be in a town that still believes in community spirit. So it was somewhat shocking to see that a garage and a stone wall on one of the main streets had been tagged. And not just some little shit scrawling his name. But massive property damaging graffiti. It was very disheartening to see. Not many days after the damage had been done a reward sign went up. You have to love a town that doesn’t take graffiti as a common occurrence. There are some places in the country where tagging is the “accepted” norm that people just live with. For example California. You just keep extra buckets of paint in the garage for the inevitable. So I was happy to see that our little town won’t just take this sitting down. We aren’t rich, we aren’t snobby, we truly are a small town with all ages and all incomes. The concentration is actually toward the low income range. But a low income range that has a great deal of pride in their home, their community, and in themselves.

I spent Sunday with my friends from Germany. We had a great time shopping. Sometimes when they visit they don’t have a long shopping list. But this time they had quite a few things they wanted to get. So we hit Kohl’s and Target, and the outlet center. It was a lot of fun. I got the cutest Keds sneakers. They are pink with yellow and white daisies on them. And since they were 5 bucks I picked up two pairs. Cause I know the first bit of dirt on them will bum me out. I also found a tank top that says “A Pirates Life for Me” with a sparrow on it of course. That little gem was at Target. It’s now my favorite lounge around the house shirt.

Is it sick that I can’t wait for July 7th? I can’t wait to have two big screen hours with Capt. Jack. As you noticed I changed my Newt’s Muse image in anticipation. Oh, and now my husband tells me that the video game being released tomorrow, Depp actually leant his voice to the game. How cool is that? Yeah, I’ll be getting that PC game. Is it normal for a 30+odd, closer to 40 (arghhhhh) years old woman to be drooling on a star?
Do I need help?

Just curious, Yaaarrrr matey!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Newt on the loose 6 degrees of separate thoughts

Thought #1:
Sign at church:
"God removes guilt"

Hmmmm, interesting concept. Do we have religion to thank for the complete lack of accountability we see today? After all, why worry about the consequences of your actions if you get a free ride?

Thought #2:
We went to see X-men 3. Oh happy day they showed a new preview for Pirates of the Caribbean. I will admit, I giggled like a school girl and had to fan myself a bit. I don't know what it is, but DAMN Depp is sexy.

Thought #3:
Last night the town kicked off Kaposia days. After the parade as people were walking home we had several folks admiring our front yard. The curtains were closed so I just sat on the couch listening to them and watching through the crack in the curtains. It was an ego boast. We've worked hard for several years to make the yard look good and I think we are finally getting there. We have no lawn, just English style gardens.

Thought #4:
Speaking of X-men, what mutant power would you want? Invisibility? Walk through walls? Manipulate matter? Control weather? Fly? There are just soooo many cool ones to pick from.
I think I would go for manipulate matter. As long as my brain wasn't as fubar'd up as Jane Grey.
Thought #5:
If you could spend two hours in a holodeck what would you want to do? (for non-trekkies's a holodeck is a computer simulated world that you can do anything you want in) I would want to be Lara Croft.

Thought #6:
Takes us back to God. What if ghost hunters came to a room where someone was having their dying confessions and last rites? Would the ghost hunters be able to talk to God? Since he forgives you and brings you to heaven?

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Images of my pastime

Tink tagged me (or I volunteered) for her cool photo idea. Let's hope that this works. I tried once and my blog page went all haywire.

So here's how it works:

1. Choose a search engine (e.g. Google).
2. Pick 5 random blogfriends.
3. Think of a word or phrase that describes each friend (or use their blog name).
4. Do an image search of that word or phrase.

So, here's mine:



Lone Sophist:

Sardonic Bomb:


Hugs to all

And I tag: Anyone who is willing to deal with the images this search may generate

Monday, June 19, 2006


While helping Lone Sophist find a good pair of shoes I came across a line of shoes I had never heard of and I think I had a shoegasm.

The company is called Irregular Choice. And given that I am an irregular person in style and personality these shoes just fit perfect.

Black and white , Black Multi , Fun in pink , polka dots , cute slides , buttons , floral , very floral , plaid, and for reasons I can't explain, I even like these.

Now the only question to remain is which will be my first pair?

Friday, June 16, 2006

Blending personality and social graces.

Someone once described my style as bright goth. No one I have discussed this with knows for sure exactly what that means but they agree that it is a fitting description of me. I dance to my own private tune in a colorful world. So of course when I have an upcoming event like this wedding I want to balance being me, and not being the freak show. Well last night while waiting for a friend of mine I sauntered into J Jill and fell in love with a skirt. But I felt that it was a little too casual, a little too bohemian for the wedding. So I dismissed it and went about my evening.

We (me and my good friend S) had dinner with the couple heading for matrimonial bliss and we asked them exactly what is expected at their wedding in terms of attire. My friend, the groom, said, we just wanted to make sure everyone knew to dress nice. The bride said, rather snidely, "Well it IS an evening wedding, at the Hyatt." So, jokingly I said "So, I guess that rules out a gypsy sort of look" and my friend the groom kinda laughed and said, well,,,,maybe. And the bride, again snidely said, "Uh, yes". Well, that just made up my mind. Off I went to get the skirt.

Yeah, I can be a petty biatch some times. Girlfriend J tells me I need to be a little less nice and a little more biatch. So, combine it all and that means that I now have to wear this skirt. There will be 300 some odd people there, it won’t really matter what I wear. And I will get to be 100% me. All bright, a little bohemian, a little gypsy, a little goth. And the snide little bride can kiss my chubby little behind. (I bet you didn’t know I could be like this) (Newt does have her moments)

So, I am now the proud owner of an amazing skirt. To top off the evening S and I went down to DSW to see if they had any shoes that would work. Of course they had the PERFECT pair. White satin sandals with embroidered flowers and vines across the toe strap. Absofuckinglutely perfect! I couldn’t have made shoes that matched better. And they were in the evening/wedding section. So they are very elegant and very dressy. And because the bright goth gods were helping me along, there were only three pairs left. What are the odds one would be in my size? 1 in 12? Or something like that? Well, they had an 11 – nope. A 10 – nope, and an 8 – probably. I wear a 7 ½ but tend to get an 8 in sandals so I don’t commit the sacrilege of toes off the front of the sandal crime. And not only did they fit beautifully they were comfortable.

So the Newtster is just about ready for this wedding. I have to find a top but that should be pretty easy. I can get something in pink, rose, lavender, or periwinkle. All flower colors in the skirt. We think a cami with sequence or lace and a sweater over top will be perfect. Whatever it will be I know it will be the easy part. I plan on making the necklace and earrings. I made a caterpillar bracelet in pastels a few years ago, I was wearing it last night and it looked pretty cute with the skirt.

I just ordered these as possible tops both in the pink shade - if I go with the silk tank I will get a white shawl for over shoulders. If I go with the blouse I will get a embellished cami for underneath.

Have a good weekend everybody.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Around the Newt World in 80 days

Working from home is a nice change. I get to spend the day with the pups. I like that. And it's quieter and I can concentrate much better.

180 degree switch:

I picked up my dad’s father’s day present. He is getting a whole assortment of goodies from the Candy Shop. It’s this great old fashioned store in the heart of St. Paul. They make their own chocolates, sell oodles of different candies by the pound, as well as fabulous popcorn. Plain, cheesy, and caramel. If you mix them all together you get Chicago Mix. That is my dads favorite. He also loves licorice in all its forms. So he has jelly beans and taffy. And last but not least, spice drops. He says that he has never had better ones than from the Candy Shop. He’s made a valiant effort to find ones as good but alas, our little shop in the city can’t be beat.

As happens every year I found myself shedding tears in the card isle at the store. Nothing makes me more weepy eyed than trying to find a card for my loved ones. This also happens at Mother’s day and for my Anniversary. I don’t know why. I guess I just realize how much someone means to me when I read all those sappy verses. I never actually pick the sappy versed cards, they are just too much for me. But I do try very hard to find just the perfect card. The one I found for dad says something about “Loving our little talks” which is the truest thing about my relationship with my dad. He calls me every day and that means the world to me. Even if he calls me for 45 seconds then hangs up because the dog pooped, the call makes my day. Life is too short and too full of surprises not to make the very most of every moment we have with the ones we love.

I am reading a book called “The Mercy of Thin Air” It’s a marvelous story about a woman who is “in-between”. She dies, but has not gone on to wherever it is that people go. She haunts the people from her past as well as a young couple connected distantly through family. It’s a touching story about life and loss. This story is very similar to the television series from a few years back called Dead Like Me. I’m not sure how well I would cope with being in-between. I don’t think I would be a very happy ghost. Another book called “Lovely Bones” holds a very similar theme. Only in that book the ghost character was brutally murdered. Pick up either book if you want a good cry. And either Netflix or rent Dead Like Me. Absolutely marvelous t.v. show.

180 degree switch:

Last night was mall night with the girls. We had a blast. I made a futile attempt to find a little black dress for this upcoming wedding. I have plenty of time and I know that the perfect dress is out there. I just have to figure out where the damn thing is hiding.

Of course a mall trip isn’t complete without some shoe shopping. We were in Nordstrom Rack and I tried on a pair of $70.00 flip flops. I just wanted to know what it felt like on the foot. Oh, my, god was this thing comfy. I flipped the shoe over to my friend to try on and she was also instantly in love. As she was ooohing and awwwing the shoe I told her the price. And she scolded me: “Who does this?” “Who does this?” “That’s just a serious violation of all things sacred in shoe shopping” “Don’t go putting heavenly pillows on my feet that cost that much.” Of course I had to apologize. It was very wrong of me. I violated all that was sacred in the sisterhood of the marvelous shoe. I know it’s really not THAT much money, but for the kind of shoe it was I know we were paying for the label more than anything and I just can’t do it.

180 degree switch

I love coffee. It’s my indulgence in my day. I don’t care for the Starbucks generation of coffee which is basically burnt. I actually prefer a smooth cup of coffee that is full bodied. I don’t like the charred taste that people are now used to because of Starbucks. I mail order Gevalia. It’s expensive, but the best damn cup of coffee you will ever have. And interestingly no matter how rich the coffee you order the beans are a nice deep brown. They are not black. They are not charred. Because of the cost, well, actually because the hubster complains about the cost, I reduced my shipments to one every twelve weeks. In between that time I just get ordinary coffee. Today I am indulging on Gevalia. And I saw that it was good. Ahhhhhhhhh. I’m going to go read some Twisted Tink, have a nice day everybody.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Cranky pants is a closet nice guy

The hubster is a very sweet and romantic guy for a cranky pants. He’ll be the first to admit the cranky pants part. But he prefers to keep his sweet romantic side quiet. He’s the type of person that depending on the environment in which you meet him you may or may not like him. And in some cases people have admitted to me that when they first met him they REALLY didn’t like him. But then, like mold, he grows on you. Spend enough time with him and you’ll catch a glimpse of the hidden nice guy. For some reason from the moment we met he let the nice guy side show. But I was also able to see the cranky pants side.

I remember having a conversation with one of his friends. I think he was looking out for me and wanted to make sure I knew he was a stubborn cantankerous cranky pants. He was drilling me about how well I knew him and I mentioned something like “Well he can be cranky as hell but to me that just makes me feel more alive and involved. I wouldn’t want a guy that would just roll over and die for me.” And the friend responded with “Oh, you really do know him?”

So 8 years from meeting I still love everything about him. We balance each other well. The light, the dark. The calm and the storming.

Over dinner last night we talked about what makes couples couple. Why do they fit so perfectly. Because he needs to be mothered and she will do that. Or, she needs someone that just rolls over and dies for her and he’s willing to roll. Or, she needs a father figure. Or he needs someone that will make him look good in public. Or, he’s not repulsed at the sight of her. Or, they make each other laugh. Or they both like to eat sponge cake in bed. The reasons couples couple are infinite. We decided that we work because we put up with each other.

One of my friends describes him as a closet nice guy. Here are some of those instances:

When we were planning our wedding we decided from the start that it was going to be a very home grown, hand made gathering. It was not going to be a big ostentatious affair. We simply wanted our friends and family with us when we exchanged our promises to one another. It was all about the love not the wedding. Check out my rant page for more on that.

Anyway, we made our own invitations. We had gone out to a store that was hell and gone from home and while there we had found the perfect invitations. But we thought, oh, they’ll have these for a while so let’s keep looking. Well the more we looked the more I loved the ones at that shop. So a few weeks later we headed back to the store to get them. They were sold out and discontinued. I was crushed.

A few days later it was valentines day. We exchanged gifts, cards, etc. But then Michael said he had one more gift for me. It was the invitations. I cried. A flood of tears spilled forth. He had gone back to the store and gotten them shortly after we had been there the first time and had planned to give them to me as a surprise. He actually didn’t expect me to set my mind so soon on the invitations. I couldn’t believe how he even went all the way back to the store knowing they weren’t there.

Another closet nice guy was when Kellogg’s had Winnie the Pooh bobble heads. I love Eeyore so we got a box of fruit loops to see if we would happen to get one. I had a one in four chance right? Well, no, didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. Oh well. No biggie.
But then a few weeks later I went down in the basement to get something from the tool closet. When I opened it up there were over a dozen boxes of fruit loops inside. He had gone to the store and bought a cart full of cereal to try to get me an Eeyore. How sweet is that????????????

This past weekend we had gone to one of the great icons of the cities. The Electric Fetus. It’s a head shop and used record store. We bought a bunch of used cds. Our friends were with us and they were looking through the cd’s we bought. R commented that I even had a classical c.d. (She loves classical). Surprised I said “there should be two” but nope, only one. The clerk had missed the other. Hubster asked if I wanted to go back to get the c.d. I said no, that was ok. Well, I’ll be damned if he didn’t give me the missing c.d. this morning. He won’t tell me how he got it. He either took it out of the bag and hid it down his pants when we left the store, had our friends sneak it out of the bag or he actually went back to the store to get it for me yesterday. Whatever the case, he’s sweet. The romantic in me is going to go with “he went back to the store to get it”
So, there you go. Life with a closet nice guy a.k.a. cranky pants..

Monday, June 12, 2006

Newt needs a brain

Well, it was one of those weekends that no matter what I did, it was wrong. It was as if the brain took the weekend off and didn't bring me along for the ride. So, pretty much I was a walking dork the entire time.

First: I went to Barnes and Noble on Saturday to get a couple of books. Among other books I wanted to see if they had the Vampire Hunter D series that Sardonic Bomb recommended. So, I looked all over the shelves for the books. Couldn't find them so I asked customer service. The woman looked them up and said they were in stock in SciFi. I said, oh, I must have missed them. So she went over and looked on the shelves. Sure as shit there they were. Like I told her, there were probably right in front of my nose. Yep, they woulda bit me if I had gotten any closer to the shelves. So I grab book 1 and I am in glee! I did notice though that they were out of book 2 but had 3 and 4. Ok, I can order 2 if I like the first one, no biggie. Then, as I am heading to the register I spot the series that my brother recommended. They are the Vllad series by Steven Brust. I grab the first book, Book of Jereg which actually contains the first three novels. Alright, this is AWESOME! off I go. I get home, get a cool drink, sit down in my favorite chair and start to read Vampire Hunter D. Of course I have to read all the stuff in the front and back first. Inside the cover it says: "other books by Hideyuki Kikuchi - Vampire Hunter D #1." Well, what the hell do you mean? Other books ? #1? Damn it. So, sure as shit, I look on the spine of the book which they have conveniently numbered for the series and wouldn't you know it, I have book 2. No wonder they didn't have one on the shelf. It was in my damn hand! Well crap, alright, no biggie. I have that other book to read. So, I get up, and switch the books. Go back to my comfy chair and my drink and sit down to read. And again I look through the front and the back. And even check to make sure that I am indeed reading the first book. Yep, we are good to go. So we begin at the beginning: "Forward by Author" in which he writes: "Most people will tell you to read a book in order of publication date. But if you were to ask my opinion, I would offer that you read them in chronological order which goes as follows:......................." And yes, yes, you already guessed where this one is going. The chronological order actually starts with book 4. Which, I DON'T HAVE! I have 1-3. Because that is the order the publisher said they were in.

So, we went back to the book shelf and picked up a totally unrelated book that is it's own story called The Mercy of Thin Air. And we sat back in our chair and we read and we drank our beverage and it was good.

The next part of my weekend in which I realized that my brain was in a different location than I was came about when we went out to a home remodeling show. The plan was to follow that up with a trip to Trader Joes. We have been so excited about finally having one here in the cities. Good food, good wine, lots of fun. My parents gave me a wine list of stuff to get from there that they liked. I was SOOOO excited. So, we get there, we park, we walk in, and and and and......why is the wine shop dark and locked????? Oh yeah, that would be the blue laws. They CAN'T sell liquor on Sunday. How could I have forgotten that? Well, that just deflated my excitement 100 fold.


Alright, overall it was still a fun weekend. And very relaxing. I just can't quite figure out why the ol' IQ took a nose dive.

Today the hubster and I celebrate 7 years of blissful matrimony. We both have talked about the fact that it doesn't seem like it has been that long. But on the other hand it feels like we have been together our whole lives. It's an odd feeling. "Wow, time flies, it seems like just yesterday we got married." But at the same time, you feel like the person sitting next to you on the couch has been in your life for as long as you have taken a breath on this earth.

We are going to go to our favorite restaurant for dinner. Mama Maria's in Hudson Wisconsin. We can't wait. We got engaged there and we celebrate our anniversary there every year.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Happy Happy Friday

That's all I have to say!

Have a wonderful weekend everybody!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Not your normal Thursday

So, I worked from home today. I had to go have the stitches taken out from the ice cream scooping. On the way there I met the hubster for lunch. Along with 3 other former co-workers. I worked for his company for several years but left because I suffered from "female with a brain" syndrome. Anyway, it was a lot of fun. And nice to see everyone. And if you (fellow blogger) ever come to the twin cities I will take you for a juicy Lucy. Heaven in a bun. And the best fries on the planet. I also did a quick hello in the building. Well, the major topic was the black tie optional wedding. I guess the hubster had been telling everyone about it. Apparently several people have been telling me that they have never been invited to a black tie optional event before. And everyone wants to see pictures.

It's rather odd that in a room of middle class highly educated america there appear to be more people that have never gone to one than those that have. I guess I just assumed that black tie events were relatively common place. But how common are black tie events? Outside of prom, and actually being in a wedding, seriously folks, how many people out there attend them? I'm now kinda curious.

So, we have a hand fasting in June, the big "show" in August. And then in October we have the wedding of our closest friend. Very dejavu. The year we got married we had our ceremony in June, another friends wedding in August, and my child hood friends wedding in October. Well, they say every seven years things change. So, here we go, another round of happily ever after........And good things come in threes.

So working from home allows me to accomplish the following:
That extra cup of coffee
Concentration on project at hand
Happy puppies
Lunch with the hubster
Visit to the doctor
Flip flops from Marshall fields ( I didn't confess that diversion did I?)
More time with the happy puppies
More concentration on super sucky project
and last but not least:
more quality time on the swiss ball

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Piles of crap, high brow living, Gravitas, and slang becomes mainstream

Don’t you just love those days at work that start in the crapper? I’m going to assume that the rest of the day can only get better. Different priorities, senses of urgencies, etc. And today I seem to be just the middle man in the big old pile of crap. Everyone else is just circling on the side lines waiting for me to wade my way through. And in all reality I can’t do shit to help fix the problems. Argh!!!!!

I should have just let this get better and not blogged without a cool down period but then not ALL my blogs can be daisies and sunshine.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Last night we got a wedding invitation for a friend of mines blessed event. Both families in the wedding are richer than god. So we knew this was going to be quite the how do you do. The invitation was freak’n huge but simple and tasteful. It was the fine print at the bottom of the invitation that got me though: black tie optional.

Okay, I am way way way way way too white trash for this. Can you hear the banjos?
Seriously folks, I do not clean up good. In fact I can’t even clean up. I’m a pink flamingo loving, dinner at the coffee table, beer drinking kind of girl. I am so NOT black tie optional. The fanciest thing I own is my wedding dress and we all know I can’t wear that!. I could look at this as the opportunity to get a pretty dress and even better, an opportunity to get me some shoes but does Target have anything that will pass as black tie optional?

The hubster and I are looking forward to this wedding. We know it will be like nothing we have ever experienced out here in the swamp. Going to the big city and all for a fancy dinner. (oh, man, I’m going to have to use a napkin!) (not to mention that I doubt they will have sporks next to the plate – what will I do with all those choices of forks and spoons??????)

I guess every wedding has to have a spectacle. I guess it’s an honor that I get to be the one at this wedding.

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Yesterday I watched Mondays Colbert Report. It was his 100th show. And he had Stone Phillips on as his guest. Stone was the 1st guest so they asked him to be #100 and their first repeat. As with the first show they had a gravitas competition with the two of them having to read various headlines as only the best reporters can. And just like the first one it was hilarious and hella impressive. If you want to see it you can go to Comedy Central’s website. They have the Gravitas Off on video for you to watch. I would give you the link but it keeps erroring out on me.

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Lastly, I was listening to MPR this morning and while talking about illegal immigrants and the construction industry the reporter used the term McMansion. This cracked me up. I guess I didn’t expect McMansion to become so mainstream. I wonder what McDonalds thinks of that?

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That’s all I have for this fine hump day. The good news is that the world didn’t end yesterday. No frogs fell from the sky. Hellfire and brimstone was kept to a minimum.
All in all I think we are pretty safe till 3006.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Attack of the seven pound poodle

Observations from this morning’s walk:

Two crows sitting on a light post sounded like a married couple arguing

Sophie walks crooked so she is always walking into my foot. My arm gets tired always holding the leash out to the side so I don’t step on her.

It truly is peaceful in the early morning hours.

Everyone’s peonies are gorgeous this year

The mail dude must have left early this morning

The color someone is painting their house is a very unattractive primer gray accented with a very light cream. The house used to be brick red. I liked the red better.

I wish I had a digital camera so I can take pics on my walk in the morning and share them with everyone.

Pink Flamingos are coming back into style

Rabbits and squirrels are out in mass and they are braver and more adventurous in the early morning

A tiny little poodle charged across the road to see us. I picked Sophie up just in case she wasn’t a friendly little half pint. Turns out she just wanted to say good morning.

And for your enjoyment:
Yesterday I was more vertically challenged than normal. I was trying to help J reboot her Ipod. For whatever reason I decided that the desk space on the side of her cube was complete when actually there is a gap between the table and the desk. I forgot that fact and leaned on the non-existent desk. Thus finding my ass down on the ground before I realized what I did wrong. Apparently that kept J in fits of extreme giggles all the way till she fell asleep last night.
Also last night the hubster and I were messing around with our new exercise balls. Trying to balance on our knees on them, rolling around, etc. I saw in our workout book something called a swan dive and tried it. And yes, you guess it, ass over elbows I fell off the ball and not in a very graceful, no one will notice sort of way.
I decided after that it was time for bed.

Monday, June 05, 2006

A positive spin

The two certainties in life; death and taxes are both something we don’t look forward to. At this point in my life I can’t come up with a positive spin on death. Because it’s well, pretty final. But taxes, that’s a whole other issue. We have to pay them. There is no options there so why not find the good in the situation. So here is a list of positive reasons for taxation: Just think about how chaotic our lives would be without them.

Roads – I can get the places I want to go because of roads
Bridges – Safe passage across the mighty Mississippi
Parks – I can walk my dogs in beautiful places. I don’t own it, but I can use it.
Traffic Lights – Someone always changes the bulbs and makes sure they work right.
Stop Signs – another very useful item for traffic control
Street signs – I can find where I want to go
Freeway signs – another very useful navigation tool
Prisons – helps keep the psycho count down at any given place I go to
Police – yeah, we grumble about the occasional ticket but these guys really do help keep us safe
Fire Department - Another group of folks that risk their lives for us – help us when we are in accidents, try to salvage our homes, help us get our kitties out of trees.
Libraries – a kick ass source of literature and information with free membership
Schools – I got me edumacated because of these here thingys.
Fire Hydrants – a water source to help protect our property
Sewage systems – hell of a lot easier than septic systems, cleaner and far less stinkier than out houses, and way more pleasant than a chamber pot.
Storm drains – keeps our roads and properties from filling up with water.
EPA – without this group: Imagine coal run London – black and sooty only 100 billion times worse
FDA – helps prevent the traveling quack doctors with their cure-all’s.

Friday, June 02, 2006


New Blogs:

I started a new blog just for books. This way I won’t torture you all with book reviews.
The link will always be on the side bar in case you just have to know what I am reading.

I also started a new blog for the ranting. This way I can rant but you don't have to read it.
It's a choice you can make. The link is also on the sidebar.

Weekend checklist:

Watch season finale part 1 of Dr. Who
Walk in the park with friend and dogs
Buy ground cover plants from Gertens
Help J landscape the area around her house
Drink something cold and alcoholic
Sleep in
Trim overgrown catmint
Dead head the Petunias
Move dying plant to place with more shade

Good News:
I got the lab results back from the "surgery" to remove that mole. All is well, no cancer.

And on a TMI level: and also proof that I was raised in a barn:
I woke up at 3 this morning with a runny nose. Of course I'm only half awake so I can't find the tissue box but I became wide awake when I wiped my nose with the back of my hand only to smear snot bubble all over myself. GROSS! This is not how you are supposed to wake up in the middle of the night. YUCKY!
Now aren't you glad you read that???
I tried to tell you it was TMI

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Avoiding endings and 367 and counting

I put off and put off watching the season finale of 24. I just didn’t want it to end. Last year Jack walked off into the sunset and I was good with that. I had some closure. And seeing as January in Minnesota means winter I wasn’t in any hurry for the show to begin again.

This year! Curse them! Those bastards ended the show with a cliff hanger. They didn’t even give Jack the chance to go to the bathroom. Come on! The dude has got to pee sometime. Sheesh!

Alright, enough about 24. The good news is I won’t be blogging about it for another 7 months. At this time I just look forward to the new season of Stargate SG1 and the release of Pirates of the Caribbean.

Until then, I get more reading done. My list climbed up to 367 thanks to Jay. Plus being light outside till after 9 pm means I can sit outside and read in my lounge chair. Barring mosquito’s of course. I think I will ask the hubster to put up the screen room this year. We bought the darn thing, why the heck not use it???? How nice it would be to lounge around in the fresh air with a good book and a glass of wine! I’ll have to push for some kind of better outdoor lighting too. I’m a very demanding spouse.

I’m looking forward to the weekend. I’m going to help my friend plan out her new landscaping. I’m not sure if that makes us sick or not? Excited about manual labor?
In the hot sun? Yikes…………..But I am. It’s going to be fun!

So, random books on my list:
Tokyo Suckerpunch by Isaac Adamson
Night Train by Martin Amis
Brooklyn Follies by Paul Auster
Please Don’t Come Back from the Moon by Dean Bakopoulos
The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier
The War of Don Emmanuel’s Nether Parts by Louis De Bermieres
Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard by Kiran Desai
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
The Next Step in the Dance by Tim Goutreaux
You Poor Monster by Michael Kun
A Taxonomy of Barnacles by Galt Niederhoffer
The Space Between Us by Thrity Umrigar
Love and Other Impossible Pursuits by Ayelet Waldman
A Small Death in Lisbon by Robert Wilson
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

So, if you have read any of these and they were either exceptionally good or horribly bad feel free to let me know. This way I can either move them up in my list or cross them off.