Friday, September 21, 2007

Setting the example

I overheard a fascinating conversation today on the bus.

3 high school boys were talking about smoking. Cigarettes and other things. They talked about pot and where and what versions of it is legal.

One of the boys asked his friends if he still looked like he was on something.

They told him, yes, a little.

But that wasn't the interesting part.

The interesting portion of the conversation was about their parents smoking. And how they justify it because its legal and an "adult thing". And that the kids shouldn't smoke because it's bad for their health.

The kids were talking about how it's not justified just because they were adults. That they were killing themselves at the same rate as the kids were. And that legal or not, it was not good for either of them.

I found their discussion about their parents habits fascinating.

What we do as adults really does matter. And the example we set for the next generation is very important.

So, in a day and age when image is everything. When entire motivational drives are based on keeping up appearances. Where money is everything. And accountability is nothing. Where adults refuse to take responsibility for their actions, or their kids actions for that matter. Where the world revolves completely and selfishly around them. And so many people are strictly looking out for themselves. It's a little scary to think that this is the example we set for the future generations.

What are we setting these kids up for?

I know what I am saying is no great revelation. But I guess I've never heard it out of the mouth of babes.

"Mom, Dad, you're setting a shitty example for me."

I'm not saying that kids shouldn't be held accountable for their actions and choices. I'm not saying that they could choose all on their own to smoke or not to smoke. I am not in any way saying that they shouldn't have some level of responsibility.

I guess, honestly what this entire post is about, is that what we do matters. And what we do does set an example and have an effect on the younger generations.

And I wish we took that responsibility a little more seriously as a society.

4 comments:

Nettie said...

I remember my father told me once, "Do as I say, not as I do". I knew that was bullshit when I was a kid, I sure as hell wasn't going to use that with mine. I smoked, the A smoked, was I surprised when our son started? Not a chance. I look at him smoking and fully realize that he is a product of the environment he grew up in. How could I tell him not to do it when we were? Smart boys on that bus!

Kell said...

Like you said, out of the mouth of babes. great post.

graymama said...

What to say?

I have battled with an eating disorder because that was the model I had from my mother. My parents didn't smoke, but both my sister and I did.

Hubby and I do not drink alcohol. Honestly, we think it is a choice that has many more cons than pros, including death. Do we think Buddy will not drink? Who knows. It is his body, and it will be his choice.

I think a parent needs to be present, which to me means being aware without judgment or blame.

As a parent, I try my best, but I do fail. It is hard in this world not to feel like a failure all of the time when most celeb parents make it look easy, and the ones who admit it is hard or screw up are ridiculed.

I think communication, love and respect are the best gifts a parent can give to a child and vise versa. It is too bad that those kids felt like they couldn't tell their parents how they felt, or maybe they did and it fell on deaf ears.

Being a parent is the hardest job EVER!

Anonymous said...

It's interesting that the kids know exactly where the habbits come from and were talking about it.

The first time I heard one of my girls repeat a swear word, I knew that they were watching, so as parents we have to do better than we would for just ourselves.