Why we go postal

Skyways are a midwest/Minnesota phenomenon. I had never seen or heard of them till I moved up nort'. They are a fabulous invention and make life here far more bearable. Basically we have habitrail like connectors all over the down towns that connect every building. Thus no need to walk outside in crap weather. Because of this system there are numerous restaurants and shops located throughout the 2nd story maze. This is how you go about lunch, post office, hair dresser, coffee, etc.

Normally I can zip through the system to get to whatever it is I need to.

Yesterday, not so much. Slow walking groups insisted on walking side by side often 4 or 5 people across. NOT enough room for the rest of traffic. It seemed as though yesterday no one in all of St. Paul had to be anywhere at any time. All I wanted was to get from point A to point B. I did not want to have the mental time to contemplate the entire existence of the universe. But, thanks to the snails pace I got to.

I was also dumb and went to the bank, on a friday, on the last day of the month, to deposit checks. Yeah, I admit already it was an idiotic move on my part. So there were 25 people in line at the bank. But one of the employees took anyone with a non-cash transaction out of the line and had us go to the front customer service desk. Ok, cool, this will go fast. BULLSHIT. The two, count them, two people ONLY in front of me both decided to open checking accounts. Both looked too old to need to open a damn account. Both looked reasonably intelligent. Both were dressed nice. But,as it turns out both were MORONS! Complete and total. The first guy was clueless about how to do anything related to having an account. Then the second person, we'll just refer to her as SB - stupid bitch - also opened an account. However SB did not fill out, sign, or prepare anything. So, while the teller rather quickly got the new account stuff together the SB decided to sign all her checks. I have now watched all 25 people in the line I was in leave the bank. I have also watched another 50-75 people also go through the line I used to be in. And my blood is now boiling. Why was I stupid enough to stay? You know, I asked myself that as I was stewing back through the skyways - remember, snail pace so plenty of stew time - and I came to only one conclusion. I think I was waiting to see at what point I would fall off the ledge of sanity. I was a little curious at just how far I could get to the edge. I'm rarely if ever there so why not play around with my mental fate a little. After all, I hear insanity can be fun and relaxing. So about 15-20 minutes into my standing stew I started to imagine an automatic in my hand, or maybe it was a tommy gun. I took out the biatch that put me in the line first. And then I just went from there. The SB in front of me opening an account went next. I pictured her bullet riddled body half hanging from the counter. Blood dripping off her fingers and pooling on the ground. Yeah, sick. Need to get my head examined. Maybe, but damn it was kinda fun. I mean, if you are going to fall off the ledge, let's do so in style. Plus, I felt better.

Thanks Hollywood for giving me the graphic images necessary to fulfill my little fantasy.

To top the whole mass murder image off, the SB actually tried to deposit a check that was automatically deposited so it had that "This is not a check" thing across the center. She wanted to know where it was deposited to. So this opened up a whole new can of worms.

Anyway, when SB finally left the lady processed my deposit and the 4 people behind me so fast that I didn't even have the receipt in my purse and there was no longer anyone waiting in line. The people that were behind me I'm sure were experiencing the same boiling anger. I wonder who they shot first? Hopefully it wasn't me.

So, there you have it. Mental postal is kind of a fun activity.