Ring dammit

Alright, slight change of the normal here:

I went to a dermatologist last week to have her look at a bump on my nose. My regular doctor already assured me it wasn’t cancer or anything like that but it would be best to have a dermatologist look at it.
So I went. And she took off the bump. She also sent it into the lab just in case. No biggie. She even said it was probably one of two things both of which are not a problem. She then checked face, neck, and back for any spots that shouldn’t be there. Nothing. She said I had great skin with no sun damage.

That’s a good thing

She asked if I had any spots at all on my body. I told her I had a mole on my hip that I have had since childhood. So she looked at that. And that one she said worried her. So she dug some of that sucker out and sent it to the lab.

So last night the message on the machine was one of the nurses and she said to just give them a call.

Of course it’s easy to tell one self, and to tell someone else, don’t worry, everything will be fine. Easier said than done. I spent all of last night on the verge of tears, sick to my stomach, and in general misery. This was not one of those things I could talk myself into not worrying about. I tried, honest I did.

My poor husband had to help me through a total melt down that occurred sometime after the Simpson’s but before we went off to bed. He tried to assure me it would all be fine and that I worry too much.

As I said, easier said than done.

So, now I have been playing phone tag with the hospital. It’s almost noon and I got nothing yet.

But slowly, I am going crazy.

I do it to myself. I know. I shouldn’t worry so much. But melanoma is not a forgiving cancer. And, as someone so helpfully pointed out to me on Monday, he knew a guy, only 32 years old that was dead within six months of diagnosis.

Yeah, that helped a lot.

Alright, I got a hold of them. I was told that both spots were benign but the hip one is starting to change so they want to remove it. Minor surgery scheduled for May 23rd. This I can handle. And now I can sleep. I won't worry about what could happen in the future. It's been caught early enough and in 30 odd years it never changed shape or color so I would assume that it's going to be okay. To think otherwise will just drive me to a level of crazy I can do without and wouldn't do anyone any good. Life is to be lived, not worried over what might have been or will be.

I'm going to go home and hug my puppies.