Monday, July 17, 2006

Cloaking devices and the Princess Puppy

My hubster and I have our very own cloaking device. It works great. But we don’t know how to turn it off. In fact, it seems to operate on its’ own whim. We used to think that it was just our Subaru that had the device installed but it is becoming more apparent that it is not the car, it is us.

No one see us. No one! I can’t tell you the number of times people have turned or pulled out right in front of us. And I am not talking 50-100 yards away, I’m talking slam on the breaks, skid out, go up on the curve in front of us. And this happens all the time. Weekly.

People walk in front of the car, or behind it if we are backing up, as if we aren’t there.

What lead us to discover that we are the ones with the cloaking device and not the car is that we also have the same things happen to us in the truck and in the Land Cruiser. And trust me that Land Cruiser is way harder to stop at the last second. There is a lot of weight on that baby and it doesn’t want to stop on a dime.

We also will be in line at a restaurant, fast food place, or store and people will just walk right past us to the counter. We have even had people behind us in line pulled out and taken to a different line to help them faster. And it always seems to be the persons right behind us. Apparently either we are cloaked at the time, or not worthy of fast courteous service.

And don’t even get me started about furniture stores. While shopping for a bedroom set (no small chunk of change) we went to about a dozen different furniture stores. It wasn’t until the last one that anyone even acknowledged we were there and asked if we needed assistance. We actually looked behind us and to the side of us to see who they were really talking to. We did inform a few of the stores that we were in that we were shopping for a bedroom set but they were obviously not interested in our money. Those were the stores that literally had sales people out on the floor actively asking people if they needed assistance. And everyone was approached multiple times except us. We jokingly even checked a few mirrors to make sure we had a reflection. The store we did buy from is actually the only store we shop at now. They consistently have offered us assistance.

The hubster and I don’t look like poor relations. Or at least I don’t think we do. We wear respectable clothes, we bathe, we fix our hair. We have all of our teeth. And we don’t walk around saying things like “Gosh, Vern, will ya look at that thing there.” “WhooWhee I bet that cost a pretty penny.”

Then of course there is the car that didn't see me either and ran into me. I was walking so it can't be just the Subaru with cloak capabilities. But obviously Sophie was close enough to me to also get cloaked.

Does anyone else have a cloaking device? How do you turn it off if you do? Just curious.

On another note.

I took Sophie in to be groomed and I had her shaved down. As soon as they are developed I will post the hair and no hair photos. She looks like a totally different dog. She’s still cute as hell though. I opted for full shave down rather than a lion cut. I think she would have looked ridiculous with the furry legs and head.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

The same thing happens to me. I can easily be ignored, I guess.

How did you like the book I suggested? I've bought the 4th but haven't started it yet. For kicks you might pick up "The House with a Clock in its Wall" by John Bellairs. It's a juvenile novel written in '73 with illustrations by Edward Gorey. GREAT fun. I own them all.

Newt said...

Jay, Vampire Hunter D is an awesome series. I'm enjoying them. I finished #2 this weekend. And I'll put the other book you just mentioned on my next to read list. If you like mysteries try John Dunnin's series which starts with Booked to Die. I couldn't put it down. I'm also enjoying the Stephen Brust Vlad Taltos series.

Newt said...

Sorry, John Dunning - missed the "g" there.

Anonymous said...

Have you considered a life of crime? It sounds as though you have the perfect disguise. :)

sassybead said...

I seem to have the same problem in my bright BLUE 4Runner! And the people who don't seem to see me are all young and just too-damn-important! I don't know how to turn off the cloaking device, but I did learn a trick that helps a LOT. This is useful when I take my life in my own hands and attempt the four-block walk from my office to the bus stop. I understand that we have a vestigial sense that enables us to tell when someone is looking directly at us. They say you can hide in plain sight if you don't look at the person seeking you. Anyway, I will STARE HARD at the idiot bearing down on me/talking on their cell phone/about to ignore the crossing light and turn right in front of me, until they notice me and realize I am there. Works every time. Hone in on them, and don't let up until they see you!

Jay said...

I always seem to disappear in dept. stores. I can be standing right in the middle of the place and every employee will walk right past me.

Kell said...

I'm still laughing at the image of a couple saying "WhooWhee!" at the furniture store. Actually, I could use that cloaking devise at car lots. My hubby loves to go to car lots and motorcycle shops to look around, and I would surely love to be invisible then.