A little Newt Story

It’s a quiet week. With not a lot to report. The pups aren’t going to come home till Friday. But I did start setting up a blog just for them. I’ll bring it live once they come home.

So, since I don’t have much to talk about here goes a random bit from my life: I’ve eluded to it previously so here is the full story:

When I was in college I met a boy. He was sweet, intelligent, and funny. His father was Canadian, his mother German. He had citizenship in all three countries.

I met him in the music room at the university. It was a nice place to go where they played classical music, had couches, comfy chairs and tables spread out for people to come in and study or relax. The room also had a giant “cat” house. Basically this really cool human size structure of cubbies and shelves that a person could curl up or in. It was even carpeted from wall, to floor, to ceiling just like a cat house. It was the coolest thing.

Anyway, he was studying to be a geologist. He opened his book to a page that had an assortment of Trilobites pictured. He said something to me about spreading stuff on the coffee table and whether or not he would be in my way. I said no, he was welcome to spread Trilobites anywhere he needed to. He then seemed a little surprised that I knew what they were. So I explained to him that my high school science teacher took us to a spot somewhere in Jersey where you could find millions of their fossils. So he had me tell him all about it. So much for studying. We talked for quite a while. Then it was time for my dad to pick me up on his way home. So I said good-bye. He handed me his phone number and told me to call him.

When I got in the car with dad he asked me how my day went. And I told him that I met someone.

A few days later I called him. We talked, we met again. We then dated for six years. Moving in together when we graduated.

One afternoon we were out at Big Sur walking around the sand dunes. We were looking for cool shells and rocks. He called me over to tell me he found a really cool one. When I got over to him he was kneeling in the dirt digging something out. When I got down to help him he handed me a ring. And asked me to marry him.

I said yes. And a year later we were married.

We got married in the middle of May. He left in the middle of June to spend a summer doing field work for the US Geological Survey. In August I went up to Seattle to meet him. We planned to drive back to California in a leisurely vacation fashion. While leaving the camp he had spent the summer at something came over me. I looked at him and for reasons I do not understand to this day I simply said “You met someone.” And he said “yes”

It was at that moment I understood what it was to have the rug pulled out from under you.
And to have my entire existence change in a split second.

The odd thing was that I told no one what happened. I just curled into myself and existed on the very brink of humanity. I functioned at a level that was required to make it through the work day, and through the basic necessities of life. I couldn’t eat. And if I tried I never could keep it down. In three months I dropped 4 sizes.

The one thing I remember during that time was the conspiracy against me on the radio. It seemed like every hit song was about love and loss. There was even a song about “I hate what this is doing to you but if you could only see the way she looks at me.” I can’t remember the group, or the words in any detail. I know I had several break downs in the stock room. Crying quietly in a corner while I stocked the shelves.

The first person I talked to was my boss. And I did that only because she was leaving. The manager’s position was going to be available. Originally it was known that due to my husbands graduation that we would be likely moving to Oregon. The fact that this was no longer inevitable in my near future made me tell her in order to not jeopardize my chances for promotion. It didn’t and I was promoted. Which was good. It gave me a whole new focus in my life.

Two months later I told my friends. And I really only did this because of something one of them had said. He thought I wasn’t hanging out with them as much due to some immigration problems he had been having. But of course that couldn’t be farther from the truth. So, I had a complete breakdown on his porch one afternoon. I don’t think it was at all what he expected.

But being the friends that they were they went to my place. Packed up all my stuff and got me out of the apartment. They didn’t care that we were in separate rooms. They wanted me in a separate house.

In February he filed the paperwork and in July our divorce was final. We didn’t qualify for an annulment despite the fact that we lasted only one month. People think I am kidding when I say we dated for 7 years and were married for one month. But really, it was only a month that we were successfully man and wife.

It was odd to be on my own. But gradually I recovered. I dated. I went to New Orleans with a good friend. And I went to Mexico with a couple of very special girl friends. I even went scuba diving while we were there. I am afraid of water. I don’t like lakes or oceans. I always feel so helpless in them. But I figured if I could survive having my heart ripped out I could swim with a few fishes. And I did, and it was exhilarating. Honestly, I think it changed who I was when I did it. I overcame a pretty big fear. And if I could do that I could do anything.

I met the hubster in May. When he and I first talked we joked about skeletons we had in the closet. And I told him I had a big one. And then I confessed that technically I was married. He asked me what our current circumstances were and I gave him the cliff notes version of my life. He said that it didn’t matter to him. The papers were filed and we were just waiting the state required “cool down” period. For all intents and purposes I was no longer married.

The hubster and I have talked about our meeting and how we felt. And we tell people that we just knew. Had the crazy notion entered our heads and had I not still been married we would have been perfectly comfortable getting married the weekend we met. Sorting out the details later. But as the hubby says “My mother would have killed me” she would have wanted us to have a real wedding.

But I’ll leave how we met and what followed for another day. I have to admit it is quite the fairy tale.

I will close with this:
Life doesn’t always turn out the way we planned. But I am thankful every day that my life took the dramatic turn it did.

Or as Garth Brooks said
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when your talkin to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.