Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Aaaacccchhhh My Eyes!

So there I was last night flipping through the cable guide when I stumbled on something called "Shoe Therapy" so of course I selected it to see what it was.

It was a show on Home Shopping Network.

Now picture a room full of guys watching a game on tv. Their favorite team is loosing. And in fact their team is dressed in inappropriate clothing. Let's say they are wearing 1940's football uniforms yet playing basketball. And let's just say they were playing basketball but every time someone from their team gets their hands on the ball it instantly deflates. And the ref's throw out a new ball to the opposing team for no real reason so that they have control again.

Now imagine the screaming and swearing. Ok, make it louder, and more obscene.

Ok, now double it

And now you have me. Sitting all by myself on the couch screaming at the tv.

It was an affront I tell you!

Obscene and disrespectful to shoe lovers everywhere.

WHO sells birkenstocks with bling on them? And worse, brags about the fact that the shoes are made of REAL cat fur? And who puts leopard print on a pair of birkenstocks and then charges 68 bucks for them? And tries to pass them off as high fashion like everyone in Hollywood is wearing?????!!!!!

And then, THEN you show boots that are slouch style. And the model is wearing them with jeans and an oversized sweater that is belted?

I thought I fell into an old 80's re-run.

And don't even get me started on the white sling backs that they modeled on a woman wearing textured black stockings.

Yes, I sat through the remaining 30 minutes of the show. I couldn't stop. It was a train wreck. A total and complete disaster to all that I hold sacred.

Newt: Honey, you should have been here it was horrible
Hubster: What?
Newt: This show on home shopping network
Hubster: Why are you watching home shopping network
Newt: Well it was a show called shoe therapy
Hubster: Oh, god, no, what did you order
Newt: Order? Order? No honey, it was aweful - their shoes sucked and even worse, their fashion sense.
Hubster: And you care why?
Newt: Because shoes are sacred and they were committing crimes against humanity
Hubster: So turn it off
Newt: No, women everywhere must be warned - I called Girl J and told her about it
Hubster: You're too funny
Newt: You don't understand how bothered I was by it
Hubster: So, I ask again, why do you care?
Newt: Because they were selling hundreds of these shoes
Hubster: So?
Newt: So now there are hundreds of women out there wearing bad shoes
Hubster: Just watch Star Trek ok, and don't worry about the shoes.
Newt: But, but..............
Hubster: Here, eat a chocolate covered strawberry, you'll feel better.
Newt: Ok.

7 comments:

Kell said...

That is just too funny because when I saw "shoe therapy" on the guide I went over to that channel, too! But I didn't stay to watch once I realized what I was on. Good thing I didn't--those shoes sound awful!

Cat fur? *Shudder*

J said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who believes that most cases of mild psychological distress can be resolved through the use of chocolate-covered strawberries.

Anonymous said...

Chocolate fixes EVERYTHING.

OMG, I have never heard of that show, but I have been warned!!

Jay said...

Yeah, chocolate covered strawberries is a pretty good way of calming people down.

I can't imagine that any self-respecting hippie would be wearing Birkenstocks with bling on them. Or cat hair.

Anonymous said...

What a good hubster you have!

People REALLY bought those things? I, who have no shoe fashion sense, know better than to even look at things like those horrors!

Tink said...

LMAO! Ok, that conversation with hubby was adorable. The show, not so much. I almost want to watch it now so I can see just how horrible it is. Like watching Paris Hilton on "The Simple Life." The simple life, what a joke. Simple minded maybe.

Anonymous said...

Was there another shoe show after it? Maybe they were going for contrast. Also, how can you buy shoes online? I have a hard enough time finding ones that fit when I'm in the darn store.