What might have been
While washing dishes tonight I started to ponder some what ifs........
A pseudo ghost of christmas "what might have been" sort of thoughts.
When I think back on my life there are several distinct forks in the road.
What if I had chosen the other path? What would my life be like? Some of those forks I regret the choice I made. Some of the forks I am very thankful for the path chosen.
What if Dad had moved us over seas?
What if I didn't leave Jersey after high school
What if
What if
What if
While washing out the big salad bowl I had a mental image of a what if that was so strong it was almost eerie. As if an alternate universe briefly crossed my path. OK, the fact that I just said that tells you I watch way too much SciFi. But it was as if a complete memory of a life not lived had flitted through my brain. Perhaps I have not gotten enough sleep lately. Or perhaps it was the chinese cole slaw salad talking. But it was so vivid.
On that same odd note I also think about some of the odd ball things that had to happen in my life for me to be where I am today. These are things that weren't so much choices on my part but forces of nature so to speak. Or forces of other's. But these events totally changed how my life turned out.
The biggest of these was my divorce. But aside from that gigantic force of nature - there are a million little things that helped lead me to where I am today. I also realize that I had to go through my marriage and divorce to be where I am today. Had I not known Mr. X none of the other dominos would have been put into place. And the fall of that first domino, our marriage, caused everything else that has happened to me to follow. I have always said that Mr. X did me a favor. And the more I think about it the bigger that favor becomes.
Had you told me 10 years ago that I would be living in Minnesota, happily married with 4 cats and 2 dogs I would have laughed my butt off. Especially the Minnesota part. Once a California girl always a California girl right? As it turns out. NO!
There is life beyond 85 and sunny.
Anyway, pondering the what if's can be rather interesting. And it makes the dish washing go a little faster.
And on a totally unrelated note:
Search terms that brought people to my blog:
shantaram loneliness feelings sink so deep: interesting way to search Shantaram
dumb car commercials with a crab: uh, other people search for this?????
muse & wizard & commercial: what? I don't even get why you would put those 3 terms together
Countries that visited my blog:
Turkey
Canada
Mexico
Netherlands
Portugal
Spain
UK
Referrers:
pickledbeef
MikerZZ
boobyfish
lonesophist
abriefsecond
sardonic-bomb
nettieridesahog
gastonrey
maxjiang
terrorism-news
leftwingnutjob
4 comments:
Funny how the "What Ifs" always seem to hit while you're washing dishes. It just struck me the other day that if I had made a different choice when I was getting out of college, I'd be living in Washington DC right now, probably working for the Smithsonian, and I probably wouldn't be getting hitched to R, and I wouldn't have the same degree of friendship with you. Certainly validates the choices I decided to go with.
damn..you multi-task quite well :p
I gave ya two referrals? cool :)
Wizard & Muse & Commercial---
there's a camera commercial with a wizard and muse. It's how I ended up here.
I think I need to see this commercial. I now have three search term hits involving camera, muse, wizard. Must be a good one.
Post a Comment