Bridget Jones, skeletons, and sleepless nights

Okay, So much for Valentines Day 2006. It's done, gone and over. But curses if I didn't feel pathetic sitting at home, alone, watching the Love Channel. I swear my mindset was not to be unhappy. Quite the contrary. I thought I was going to have a fabulous night regardless of the fact that my love was 2,000 miles away.

So, I had my most favorite food in the world: Macaroni and Cheese. Topped it off with a cold glass of milk and Pepperidge Farm Verona's (Shortbread with apricot/raspberry jam on top. So, perfect meal right? Then me and the fur balls curled up on the couch, played a little Neverwinter nights (damn it I kept getting killed by the iron gollum) and then we watched Bridget Jones Edge of Reason on the Love Channel.

For one, very funny movie. I laughed out loud. For two, I love all the actors in the film so it was really enjoyable. But Third, it was ROMANTIC. And damn it all. Stupid idea on my part. So, I called my husband. That of course made me feel better. He happened to be in his room watching bad t.v. at the time. So getting to talk to him was nice. Oh, and he found all the surprises I hid in his suitcase and he loved them (just don't let the authorities know he didn't have control of his suitcase all the time - cause Dove chocolate and a stuffed Tiger are certainly terroristic intentions)

Anyway, for anyone who knows where I come from having a significant other on a business trip always dredges up my greatest mental downfall thus far in my life. So though I love and trust my husband with all my heart I can't fight the demon skeletons in my closet and always win. And he's in Las Vegas. Why couldn't it be someplace like, I don't know, BF Kansas? He's in the land of gorgeous women, and "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" bullshit. Okay, so analyze me and criticize me, that's fine. But seriously, until you experience the "I met someone and don't love you anymore" scenario, you really can't tell me to shrug it off and stop being stupid. Unfortunately it creates that "When is the other shoe going to drop" syndrome. And it sucks. And I hate it. I really do. I get mad at myself for letting the past get to me. Especially when I know I got a good thing going. And I only have that good thing because of earlier betrayals. So, I should feel thankful for having had my heart ripped out. Yep, just gotta change the "tude"

So, with skeletons whacking me upside the head all night I tried desperately to get a good night sleep. NO can do. I am working from home today which meant I could sleep in. Nope. Not going to happen. We are wide awake EARLIER than when we normally have to get up (Sophie's first pounce was at 2). Oh well. At least I am at home. I can work in my huge flannel shirt and sneakers. Yep, no pants. (Sorry for that mental image)

And tonight is my mall night with my good friends. So that is a plus. We are being joined this time by my friend J's fiance R whom I mentioned a while back. I'm excited that she is coming. More bonding time. Maybe even the sister I never had. That would be nice. Seeing as J is like a surrogate brother to me anyway.

The other bonus to working at home: Laundry. Doesn't interfere with my work day, and opens up a whole part of my weekend for better pursuits. Yippee. Okay, with all that off my chest I can start today happy and bright. While I have been sitting here the sun has been coming up. Absolutely gorgeous sky today. It almost makes you forget it's colder than a witches tit out there. (my dad taught me that saying)

Cheers!