Solitude

Twin Peaks, remember that show?  I was a huge fan.  At some point in the series they introduced a character that was a shut-in.  Someone that didn't go outside.  Laura Palmer used to visit him.  Bring him meals.  He grew orchids.  I don't remember details, his name, or anything else, but I remember thinking to myself he was the one character I could most relate to.  Someone who doesn't want to go outside and deal with people.  Exposure to someone like him was huge for me.  It was eye opening.  This seemingly weird need to exist in my own world and not interact with others was real.  There was someone else, albeit fictional, who felt the same way.  And he was LIVING the dream. 


Now we have the world wide web.  Introverts have united, maybe alone, in the quiet of their rooms, but united anyway in a common love of solitude.  My only reference to extreme introverted behavior is no longer one fictional guy from an old show.  There are lots of us!  We can be social, just social in a completely alone sort of way.  From afar, curled up with a cup of coffee, and a cat or dog, or both.


 More than a few friends have said to me that they don't know anyone else like me.  A bookworm, loner, who doesn't like social activities, that is fascinated by all things solitary.  Someone who truly dances to the beat of her own private drum.  I actually took pride in those statements.  I have always fancied myself as an individual that doesn't worry or care what other people think of me and the choices I make.  The fact that people know it, and I think, love me anyway, was great news.


Don't get me wrong.  There are people in this world I love and enjoy spending time with.  There are even more that I enjoy a cyber friendship with.  But when it comes to my happy place, and my ultimate comfort zone, I prefer solitude. 


Thankfully, I am married to someone that is equally as comfortable in his own world.  My husband is even less social than I am.  We absolutely and completely love spending time together but we are equally as comfortable doing our own thing.  We can be in two different rooms of the house and not interacting and we are ok with that.  We don't need to spend every waking moment together.  I can happily sit in my library and read or do a puzzle and he will watch tv or work on his hobby. 


Being comfortable alone, being able to do things on my own, is very natural for me.  I have even realized at the end of a day running around town that I just spent an entire day in public but yet feel like I was in a bubble of privacy.  I also realize that I probably had one too many conversations with myself while I did so but hey, who gives a shit.


Anyway, being alone is very different from being lonely.  For me, solitude is a beautiful thing.