Our weekend up north and a question
Monday I had an email from my boss. Tragically he lost his son during labor. We had been receiving messages from him updating us all on the progress but late Friday the messages stopped. We all assumed they were celebrating the arrival of their son and hadn't had time yet to update us. I mean, we are after all just the co-workers. But sadly we learned why there was silence for so long.
On Wednesday they had a beautiful service for him. Their church is huge, modern, and absolutely beautiful. The congregation resides in the wealthiest 20 mile radius in the state. And the size of this new church and all its amenities shows it.
Which leads me to my question. At what point in modern times did it become acceptable to wear shorts, flip flops, and dirty stained t-shirts to church. Actually to a funeral for cry'n out loud???
Where has our sense of decorum gone? Is it simply a case that if we can get the freak'n kids into a church we don't care what they wear? Just so long as they are there? I mean seriously folks. Would it kill them to put on a pair of pants and a button down shirt for 1 lousy hour? Or for the girls to wear a skirt that actually covers her underwear????
What am I missing? Am I that out of touch? What happened to Sunday best?
And what is wrong with parents these days?
I'd love to hear from you.
17 comments:
That's very sad to hear! Please send my condolences to the family.
Regarding the question, that's really sad too. I know it has become less popular to wear your Sunday best to weekly services, and I still shudder at just how relaxed some parishoners get...adults and children. However, I still feel that there are some occasions that merit dressing up, and a funeral is one of them. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised at our Easter and Christmas services...despite the casual atmosphere of the weekly services at my church, the greater majority of the congregation was very dressed for those occasions. Even worse, that kind of attitude has also extended to the theaters and concert halls. I was appalled when my hubby and I attended a production of Phantom of the Opera not long ago. Jeans, sweatshirts?? Food in the theater? UGH!!!
I think the best we can do is dress the way we think is appropriate and hope it spreads! Plus, its fun to dress up sometimes.
OK...I'm done! :-)
I do not think it is ok.
And I believe neither do most people.
At my grandpa's funeral last year up in northern MN there were a handful of people wearing their work clothes. And by work clothes I mean holey, muddy, smelly clothes. It was disrespectful and avoidable.
That is so tragic.
With regard to church and dressing, I am a bit more liberal than you. I don't think we need to be dressed to the 9s to connect with god. Sometimes I am running around all Saturday and I realize that I want to make the 5:30 service when I am wearing jeans, a tshirt and sneakers.
I don't feel badly about that.
A funeral service is different. One should be dressed in a respectful manner. And I don't think short shorts or dirty clothes or ever appropriate. But I don't have "Sunday Best" either.
I would have been offended too. I can understand no black clothes on kids, but flip flops and shorts? Dirty t-shirts? I mean, how often in your life will you be asked to be present to support a friend or family member in a situation like that? Does it really take that much effort to dress for that one event?!?!
I've stopped really caring what people wear to church services so long as they attend. But to a funeral? That's basically saying "I care enough about the deceased to come here, but not quite enough to change clothes".
Beautiful pictures.
The people wearing flip-flops and sloppy clothes to funerals and to other formal events and places is one of my biggest pet-peeves. It's a total lack of respect and shows that they are slobs.
I think it's a symptom of our times. We live in a culture of entitlement. Everyone is self absorbed. I could go on and on about cell phones- remember when people tried to keep their conversations private in a phone booth? I could rant about inconsiderate drivers, rude customers, coddling parents...
We've run out of manners and common courtesy. It's too bad.
A sense of entitlement as micheal said above. A general laziness and just plain poor manners.
It doesn't have to be fancy. Even if shorts and a T-shirt are all you have to wear then at least be clean.
The world, Newt, is F#CKED.
I blame the republicans.
I agree with Michael--he said what I was going to but much better than I had planned.
I also agree with Gary.
I'm so sorry for your boss. This has got to be a horrible time for them. I can't imagine how hard it must be.
Totally disrespectful. Unless you just don't have money for clothes. But, it sounds like this is not the case here.
I may not wear a dress every Sunday to church anymore...but, I always dress classy and respectful.
I mean, if we only visit God's house once a week for about an hour? And, he's caring for us the whole week? I think he merits a little class and dressing up.
Soooooo sad about your boss. I couldn't imagine having to go through that....
I hope his wife is okay and I hope they recover emotionally and I wish them peace of heart.
When my dad died on christmas day, we were fairly casual for the funeral. No suit and tie regime at all. Fitting since we burid pop in his fave running shoes and jeans.
In fact, we (the family) dressed "down" more than the admittedly large turnout we had expected because of the X-mas snowstorm.
I agree with you to an extent though. It's an issue of respect. Funerals are for the living. Personally, I wouldn't care but yeah, shorts and flip flops are tacky as heck.
It is simply lack of respect. Parents don't want to be as strict with their children as their parents were with them. This has been going on for too many generations though and this is what has come of it.
How sad for your boss, I can't imagine.
Our church is pretty loose on Sundays. My rule is that you can wear pretty much what you want, so long as it is clean. (I prefer collared shirts and no tee shirts with rock bands or Stewie from Family Guy)
Funerals and weddings those rules don't apply. You will wear a suit or a dress.
Oh yeah, nice pictures :)
How terribly sad. I cannot imagine the pain they are going through.
As for dress code... I am not a formal person, but I believe in dressing nicely for church. If it is a traditional service, then especially so; if it is a laid-back contemporary service, then nice jeans or shorts are okay, just be respectful in your attire.
I agree with Michael.
At our last church, there were some teens who wore their flannel pajamas to church on Christmas morning!! That was too much. I'm sure that many were offended...and I say this as someone who has occasionally wished we could have a pajama day because dress-up clothes aren't nearly as comfortable as my winter pajamas.
Your pictures were lovely. I especially enjoyed the ones where you captured the mists and dew.
This story breaks my heart, even hearing it the second time around... Not dressing up for a funeral is so disrespectful. People did it for Chris' too. In fact, one girl (a family friend's daughter) went on and on asking which pair of flip flops she should wear. "The sparkly ones or the all black?" I was like, "Honey, I don't think it matters at this point." I mean really, is there any changing someone with that kind of mentality?
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